Life feels weird right now.

For the past few days I haven't done too much at all.  Of course, everyone takes a few days off of training after the Regionals.  It's good for us.

I wasn't hit with a ton of bricks after the final workout at the Regionals.  You know?  When it was "official" that I didn't qualify.  I knew after my TOTAL screw-up on Event #1 that it was going to be a fight to come back.  And I DEFINITELY don't want this post to be a list of excuses for why Events 1 and 4 didn't go my way.....

To be honest, I am hoping this blog post will help me actually release the feelings that I have yet to really express (even to myself) since Sunday afternoon.

So, let's go through this.....

After Event 1, I was pretty upset.  My time was a full minute slower than I had done the same workout just days before.  I got amped up.  I screwed myself by not staying calm...no reps followed.  When I saw 21st place...I knew I was in trouble.  I also knew I had a choice.

 I needed to remember WHY I was there in the first place.  Yes, it was to qualify....but WHY??

In the past I thought qualifying would make me more "likeable" or more "important" for some reason.   I realized after last year's Regional that I didn't need to qualify for the Games for people to take me seriously in the CrossFit community.

This year, CrossFit competition has had a different meaning for me.  It has been 100% for ME. 

I told my husband just the day before Regionals started that, if nothing else, I wanted to have an experience that would change me as a person.  I have worked SO HARD for SO LONG, and have sacrificed a lot in training for the Games.  I wanted to experience something that would "show me what is possible if you put THIS MUCH WORK in".  I wanted to have an experience I could share about dedication to my future children.  I wanted a memory I could always go back to and lean on when I need to show the same commitment and drive during other times of my life.

I thought what that meant was....that I need to qualify....to prove to myself that I could do it.  I was wrong.

After Event 1 I could choose to be sad...or to fight.  I decided to FIGHT.  Sure, I was fighting to hopefully still qualify for the Games.  But, I decided to forget about the end of the weekend and just fight for each individual event.   I decided not to worry too much about the leaderboard, but to treat each event like it was the only one that mattered.

I could have allowed myself to get defeated after my crappy first event, but I chose not to.  What would I learn from that?  Instead...I fought my way to 4 top 4 finishes.  A time in the dumbbell workout that still shocks me to this moment.  Hitting 150# on the snatch ladder, tying my all time PR.  A split time on the first couplet on Event #6 of 4:35 matching Julie Foucher, and allowing me to finish 4th without even being in the Final heat!! 

Since the competition has ended I have gone back and crunched #s...what would I have had to do to make it.  What would I have had to get on Event #1...on Event #4????  What I found, I am SO GLAD I didn't know then.

Even if I had gotten the 4:25 Diane time that I got a few days before, I still would have had to finish 1st or 2nd in event #4 to go to the Games!!  WHAT?!  Event 4 was the one I was most nervous about going in and I was hoping to just be top 10!!!

Had I known that, I don't know that I could have, or would have, performed as well over the course of the other events.  I would have put too much pressure on myself and would have been thinking ahead to other events.  So, I guess the lesson learned here is.....

We only have control over this moment.  In CrossFit that could be THIS workout, THIS REP!!  It does us NO good to look back or to worry about looking forward.  And, at the end of the day if we did EVERYTHING we could in each of those moments...the outcome will be spectacular.

In the end, I got what I came for.  Because I didn't look forward or back...I was able to push myself to a place that I hadn't gone before.  I never knew something could hurt as bad as where I took myself on the final event.  But, I did it to prove to MYSELF that I am not a quitter.  That's another lesson.  Even if the desired outcome looks like it's not going to happen, don't give up the FIGHT!  I was still able to show everyone, and MYSELF, what I was made of...what I had worked so hard for.

""When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, " I used everything you gave me."" -Erma Bombeck

NO EXCUSES.....

AND NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT....

I WANT THIS MORE THAN ANYTHING.

As I get ready to compete in the 2012 Reebok CrossFit Games NorCal Regional this weekend all I can think about is how I am ready.  There is NOTHING over the course of the past year that I could have done more, nothing I would change.

How I place and how I perform this weekend is 100% me.  I have no excuses.  

In 2009- I was injured and couldn't compete.

In 2010 - I was cocky....straight up...and got my butt kicked.

In 2011 - I was where I needed to be but didn't believe in myself.  My travel schedule also made my recovery and my training volume suffer.

Now...this year....2012... I am ready.

I have been working with the BEST coach possible.  Speal is my close friend who knows me...he has pushed me and made me do things I would have never done on my own.  I will never be able to express the gratitude I have for him.  Tack on the help I have gotten from Jason Khalipa and Neal Maddox over the past 3 months and you have a completely different athlete.  I needed them to help me adjust my attitude and it has made a world of difference.

My travel schedule is under control.  I have controlled some of the circumstances that limited me in the past.  I have also figured out my nutrition and feel better than ever with what I have been doing.

I have no injuries.  I feel fantastic.

Most importantly.....I believe.  I know where I am at, and I believe that this year I can make it to the Home Depot Center.  No workout or stacked region will intimidate me.  I am ready.

All I can control is ME.  I don't have control over how the other bad-ass girls in my region do this weekend.  I can't control where MY best efforts put me at the end of the 6 events.  But I believe if I do what I am capable of...the outcome will be what I have been working toward for 4 YEARS!!!

I have given and sacrificed A LOT for this, and I won't downplay that just to protect myself in case it doesn't go my way.  That is cowardly.  

 I am NOT AFRAID.  I am not afraid to say that I don't have ANY EXCUSES and that I WANT THIS MORE THAN ANYTHING.  And I will do EVERYTHING I can to make it happen.

No matter what happens....NO REGRETS!!!

Grand OPENing!!!!????

What? Tonight??!!  I have to go through this AGAIN?!  I am still paying for the therapy I needed LAST year during the OPEN!!

Wait, calm down....remember how we learned a lot about ourselves and online competition last year?!  Everything is going to be ok.

The above is the conversation that has been replaying in my head the past few days!  Sound familiar?

So, everybody stay calm...for the next five weeks we are going to do the workouts, we are going to submit our scores...and we will be ranked!  That is for sure, whether we drive ourselves CRAZY or not is up to us!!

So....here are some things I need to remember when the sh*t hits the fan tonight at 5pm.

1. I have worked my A** off this year!!  I am a better athlete than I was last year.  What else is there to ask of myself??

2.  With that said, how other people do doesn't say ANYTHING about the improvements that I have made.  

3.  It IS a competition, but it's not a Game with offense and defense (especially at this stage) the only performance you can control is YOUR OWN!

4.  Online competitions are funny.  Unless you WITNESSED another athletes score, you don't know what it looked like.  Not saying you shouldn't believe it...most CrossFitters are LEGIT...BUT all you can do is move as LEGIT as you can in YOUR workout so when it comes to Regionals...you don't have to change anything.

5.  Looking at the LEADERBOARD every 5 min will not change your score, your placing, or anyone else's.  All it will do is literally make you a psychopath.

5.  I was in 100 something place after the first 2 weeks last year.  I finished the Open in 30th.  I was 5th in Regionals.

6.  BUT it IS a COMPETITION!!  This is your FIRST chance this season to prove to YOURSELF how far you have come!  DON'T HOLD BACK!!!

Here is a vid of me doing just that in WOD #3 from last year's Open with the world renowned Elyse Umeda.  I knew this was my chance to get back in the Game!!

CrossFit 808 CrossFit Games Open WOD 11.3 from Elyse Umeda on Vimeo.

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!!!

Mir

FIRST POST!!

Ok, the look of this thing might change as I learn how to use the blogspot site....but here we go!

I am headed home today.  After 2 WEEKS on the road....11 flights, 8 hotels, 4 rental cars, and 4 Level 1 seminars!  Santa Cruz to Scottsdale....to Georgia to Boise.....to Georgia....HOME!!

Trainers with America's Favorite Trainer...and my new favorite CrossFitter, Bob Harper in Scottsdale!

I got an email on Facebook today asking if I had a blog.  It's something I have been meaning to do for a LONG time!  I always have funny stories about the awesome trainers I work with, and stuff I think could be helpful with nutrition on the road etc.  I NEED to share it....or at least treat this like a little diary...RIGHT?!

So, for my first post....  TRAINING AND EATING on the road...in airports and hotels!

Luckily I have a job that allows me to workout at work.  Usually we only have about 45 min total for warm up, work out, cool down, put stuff away....so it's TIGHT.   Not nearly the hour and a half I take warming up and practicing skills when I am home.  BUT, we make it happen!  Since Games season is upon us, I took a little extra time in my hotel room....almost every night....to do some extra stuff that I didn't have time for....tricep work, hspu practice, mobility, stuff like that!

The eating has been especially fun this trip too.....

I travel with a lot of stuff, Progenex powder for workouts and protein in a pinch, almond butter, Tom Toms Turkey Snack Stix from Whole Foods (yum!) stuff like that...BUT  2 weeks is a long time.

I have had 4 flights that left at 7am after staying in a hotel.  Optimally for all of them I would do what I did in Boise, go to the grocery store the night before and get a rotisserie chicken that I eat for dinner and breakfast before the flight....BUT a couple of times I was nowhere near a grocery store AND/OR didn't have a car.

So, like this morning, I stopped at Burger King in the airport and got 2 sausage, egg, and cheese Croissanwiches  and just dumped the bread.  Today I didn't have any carbs, but got even some more fat from about 2" of heavy cream in my americano.

Usually for lunch we will all go to the grocery store the night before the seminar and get some meat (chicken or deli meat) and fruit.  The dinners were almost all at restaurants.

Dinners on the road:

Chipotle (AZ)-salad with double meat, double guac!

Me and Eric O with Chris Orcutt in Boise!

5 guys (AZ)- 2 patties with cheese protein style
Rotisserie Chicken from grocery store with fruit and almond butter
Chilis (Hinesville, GA)- fajitas double meat extra guac!
Waffle House- (yep) only thing close to hotel - 3 eggs and side of sausage
CHEAT NIGHT in Salt Lake City!!  SALT CITY BURGER!
Bad Boy Burger (Boise)- 2 patties with cheese, no bun
Mexican Place- Fajitas extra meat, extra guac
Rotisserie Chicken from grocery store with fruit and almond butter
Rotisserie Chicken from grocery store with fruit and almond butter
Valentines Day (not with my Valentine) Ruby Tuesdays (Hinesville, GA) - Turkey burger and broccoli with a few sweet potato fries
Waffle House- 3 eggs and side of sausage almond butter I brought


I was thinking this morning about how LUCKY we are in the CrossFit community to have the education we do about nutrition especially!  I have been on the road for 2 weeks eating at some just AWFUL fast food restaurants...not by choice....BUT I have the knowledge to make the best of it!

The "paleo police" can say what they will....but I am dealing in REALITY...and sometimes in REALITY  Waffle House and Burger King are what you have available.  Not great for long term, but you can ALWAYS make a smart choice, control your insulin levels and not GAIN weight or feel crappy on the road!

It is important for all of us to realize how blessed we are to know this stuff and to share it with as many people as we can!

Til next time!-


Mir

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